In a world that often rewards conformity and performance, authenticity can feel like a quiet rebellion. It asks us to step out from behind the masks we’ve learned to wear—the ones shaped by expectations, fear, or the desire to fit in—and instead, show up as our true selves. No filters. No apologies.

Authenticity is not a buzzword. It’s a way of being. It’s the daily choice to live and lead from a place that aligns with who we are at our core—our values, our beliefs, and our truth. It doesn’t mean we’re perfect or that we have all the answers. In fact, it’s the opposite. Authenticity embraces imperfection. It thrives in honesty, vulnerability, and courage.

 

A Mask of Subservience

 

Growing up in a patriarchal environment, I learnt very early to wear a mask. One of subservience.

• People pleasing: Saying yes to avoid conflict or gain approval, even when it compromised my own needs and values.
• Withholding opinions: Staying silent in meetings or conversations, especially when my thoughts and opinions challenged the status quo.
• Deferring to others: Deferring decisions to others, even when I knew I was qualified or had  strong instincts, in an attempt to avoid standing out or being “wrong.”
• Minimising accomplishments: Downplaying my success or deflecting praise to avoid being seen as “too much” or threatening. I didn’t even tell people when I got promoted to VP and downplayed it when they found out!

 

Subservience can be worn as a mask when you internalise the belief that your worth comes from being agreeable, non-threatening, or useful to others. It may feel like a protective identity, especially when you’ve experienced environments where asserting yourself is met with ridicule or exclusion.

But over time, this mask stifles authenticity. It hides your voice, limits your potential, and erodes your self-trust.

 

Showing Up Without Masks

 

It took a journey of deep self-awareness (and some counselling) to start to understand why I was showing up with a mask and how it held me back. Quietening my voice.

How my mask had become a barrier to real connection – with myself and with others.

When I started to remove my mask, shifts happened. While conversations became deeper, they also impacted my relationships. Some grew stronger and some grew apart. Making it clearer to me which relationships I wanted to continue to invest my energy in and which I needed to let go. As hard as that was.

 

My confidence grew, not because I was pretending to be something I’m not, but because I started to embrace who I truly am.

 

No Apologies for Who You Are

 

Being authentic means not apologising for taking up space with your truth. It’s saying, “This is who I am,” with dignity and openness, not defensiveness. It’s having the courage to lead a meeting with heart, to say no when something doesn’t align with your values, and to share your ideas even when your voice shakes.

 

Authenticity doesn’t mean oversharing or disregarding others’ boundaries. It means being consistent and congruent—your actions match your words, your values show up in your behavior, and your presence feels real.

Living and Leading in Alignment with Core Values

 

I have always been Values driven. However, I’ve not always had the courage to stand up for myself and ensure my values are met. Values are the compass of authenticity. They guide our decisions, shape our goals, and ground us when life feels chaotic. When we lead from our values—whether in the boardroom, classroom, or living room—we create a culture of trust. People follow authentic leaders not because they have authority, but because they have integrity.

 

When we stray from our values to please others or play a role, we often feel disconnected or burnt out. When I’m not aligned with my values, it shows up as a ‘niggling feeling’ in the pit of my stomach. I used to ignore this feeling, but I’ve now learned to pay loud and clear attention. When we return to our values, when we let them guide our “yes” and our “no”—we find a sense of wholeness and clarity. That’s when we know we’re not just living, we’re living on purpose.

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Authenticity is not a destination—it’s a practice. A daily invitation to be real. To be bold. To be you.

So ask yourself: What mask am I ready to take off? What values do I need to realign with today? And how can I show up in a way that feels true—not just to the world, but most importantly, to myself?

Because the most powerful version of you isn’t the one trying to be everything to everyone. It’s the one who dares to be real.